The Ugly Truth

Since I know you all have been waiting with bated breath....

I kid, I kid.

Seriously, Sidnei and I finally had a conversation. We talked about the pros and cons. We leaned a little towards building an apartment, we leaned some more towards renting. Finally after complaining wayyy too much talking with some willing ears (seriously, you know who you are and I can't thank you enough,) I realized that as much as I want to do the "smart" thing, as much as I want to be the better person I think would make that "smart" move...I just can't. I can not do it.

And all of your wonderful commenters are right as well. Obviously my pro/con list was very biased, because so am I. I really want to make the decision that involves me making the best decision for our future...for me that means, if we rent now, are we going to be able to save to buy a house at some point? I'm worried that that is a No. Which is why I wanted to think about building. However, I realized that my mental health is worth FAR MORE NOW than worrying constantly about where we will be at whatever point I think I need to achieve.

And here is the ugly truth...the straw that broke the camel's back. Let's go back to last week shall we? I dug in my boxes, pulled out some Christmas decorations that I shipped, put on my Christmas music, my Santa hat, and got to work (with permission from my MIL first). I displayed a nativity scene, some Santa, snow globes, and mistle toe bells (soo pretty..pictures later). It was all very Christmas-y and I loved it. Friday I decided to go to Centro, look for a table top tree (we decided not to use the big one I brought because of my nephew), some lights and decorations. I was so happy with me, I found everything I wanted, for less than $50 reais!

I came home and put up the tree right away. I was so excited. Nothing brings the Christmas spirit out of me better than Christmas lights...seriously, I love it! I decide to put our tree on the table that we have on the veranda, because we all sit out there every night to eat and talk. I got it all set up and I was happy, happy.

DUN-DUN-DUN

Enter SIL.

Before she goes upstairs to change out of work clothes she says, that would look more pretty inside the living room. I didn't say anything, hoping she would get the hint. She goes upstairs and returns (too) shortly after. She goes about her business and then says again, "The tree would look better inside...It's ugly out here." I tell her I like it out here. So she says it AGAIN. So she takes the tree, moves it inside the living room beside the TV and says, It looks more pretty here. So I said again, "I like it better outside." And then I just walked away. Because I was seriously seething...blood boiling..all those angry things. Because I wanted to punch her. And because you really aren't supposed to punch 11 week pregnant women (or anyone for that matter)...I walked away.

Enter Sidnei.

I tell Sidnei what happens. He says, well it does look better in here right? (Are you allowed to punch your husband?) NO, this is not the point. This is EXACTLY why we are NOT building here. Because I bought the tree, because I decorated everything, because I did all the work, SHE does not get an opinion. OK, she can have an opinion, but she can also keep her sticky pregnant paws OFF my tree. We are NOT building here because I will NEVER be able to do the things I want to do. We are NOT building here because you do not get that I need you to BE ON MY SIDE. And we are NOT building here because I do NOT want to start anything with your sister(seriously I loathe contention), but one day, one day I am going to blow up like the Macy's Day Parade Balloons and it's NOT going to be pretty.

So to make a long story short. We are going to rent. End of story.

Enter Justification for overreaction.

And yes, I seem to be a bit territorial with my Christmas decorations. But in my defense, I wanted the tree in a place where everyone could see it and bask in the Christmas spirit. But no one seems to give a damn since no one has said ANYTHING about the decorations the tree, anything. Which severely annoys me. I am having Christmas spirit issues because of the lack of it. I miss my Mom, the abundance of her Christmas-ness (after she decorates...she's a little cranky in the process), and watching Elf with her. Because no one laughs with me like my Momma when we watch that movie. And if I seem like a whiny, spoiled, self absorbed brat...Bite me. Try to remember... It's my first Christmas ever away from my family, in a foreign country, in a city that does not celebrate Christmas like we do, and it's damn hot.

Nevertheless, I am grateful to be with my husband this year.

And even more grateful that we are going to rent. Let's hope we get there SOON.

And thank you again for all your advice and opinions. It really does help.