Tressa at American in Norway really got me thinking in one of her latest posts. Telling these stories I have been trying to let you know what has been going on in my life as of lately. It has really been a hellish ordeal for myself and Mr. S. However, when I put that quote at the bottom of my last post, that says "out of the darkest skies come the brightest stars" or something like that anyway...I had read that quote a couple of years ago when I was struggling with some other things. And I find that it is so true. So I wanted to take a few minutes and tell you all the positives that have come from being in this situation.
1. My faith has grown in leaps and bounds. If nothing more, growing my testimony and my faith in our Heavenly Father and the love he has for us, will be enough. I have felt more comfort and love from Him, in such a tremendous time of need. I have felt guilty for not having been there before and to turn to Him now that I need Him so much. I have such a strong testimony of our Father's love and His plan for us. He has provided me with everything that I could have needed. For example, money is a huge thing. In our church we give 10% of what we make as tithing. I have always been told that if I were to follow the law of tithing I would always be taken care of. This is another area that I have an exceeding amount of faith in. Some weeks I was so worried that I would not have the money to pay for everything, but I have been blessed every time. And that includes my car accident. As bad as it was, it gave me the opportunity to not make a big car payment, insurance payment, and by the time the insurance check came around it was literally the exact amount I needed to pay off Mr. S's immigration lawyer for the down payment. During this time, I have had to take on the expenses from Mr. S's business, his personal expenses, and the ones I already had. It was a big load and I am SO proud to say that I have been able to pay it all off and now I am saving money for whatever lays ahead for us. God has blessed me in so many ways and I am forever grateful for the love and support through Him. I am so grateful to everyone in my ward who has been so supporting and loving with words of encouragement and prayers.
2. Mr. S and I are MUCH closer emotionally than I think we have ever been. It has really given us an opportunity to grow even closer than we were when we got married because the hustle and bustle of busy lives has been taken out of the equation. We speak on the phone, we write letters, and I believe we grow closer everyday. It has given us the opportunity to examine our relationship and decide on things we want to work on for our future. I love him more today, than the day I married him, and I hope that those feelings will continue for the rest of our lives!
3. I like to think that situations like these force me to evaluate myself and become a better person. I feel I try to think "outside the box" and to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be more sympathetic to other's plights and to be less judgemental. Because the truth is, we just don't know. Angie from Keep Believing had the perfect post about this situation. It really makes you remember that you can make or break someones day. You just have no idea until you literally walk a mile in someone else's shoes.
4.Because I have taken the opportunity to research more about where my husband comes from and what his culture is like (on the probability that I am moving there) I feel like I understand him so much more. I have really tried to get in touch with others that live in Brazil and post about life there. The more I read about different beliefs and customs the more understanding I have of his way of thinking. Our differences in time for instance. This is something that really gets under my skin. I HATE being late. Mr. S however, has the belief that we are never late. Something I didn't fully understand until I started to read some expats blog on the two countries differences in time. I feel like I am now empowered and I will try to be a lot more patient. That is something else I am trying to learn...Some things just light my fuse, so I am trying to be a lot more patient. With all this waiting, I think it's really helping.
5. I am going to be okay. If there is something I need to do on my own, I can do it. Do I want to? No. But I do not have the fear of not being able to be independent. I know that no matter what I do, I will be okay. I will be successful, if I want to be. Attitude is a huge part of whatever we do. If we think we can and we are willing to exhaust every possibility to get there, then we will.
6. Did I mention how in love I am with my jailbird? He is wonderful and so very strong. I worry about him continually, I can not imagine how difficult it is to be in there. There are a lot of bad people where is and I know that he sees a lot, some he tells me about, and some that he doesn't. But I can not imagine having to go through it. He has always kept his faith. He tells me that he knows God is with him, protecting him, and giving him the strength to do whatever it is he needs to do. Mr. S's faith in God makes mine stronger as well, everyday. Despite where he is at, Mr. S has made friends, given them the strength they need to go through whatever it may be, and uplifted them. They have called me and so have their wives, to check on Mr. S to see how he is doing, to thank me, and to tell me what a wonderful person he is. This just re-affirms everything I already knew about him. That he cares immensely for the welfare of others, he doesn't judge, and he loves all those that crosses his path. (Don't get me wrong, there are some people he just does not talk to, thank goodness, but I am grateful for those he decides to help.) I just love him!
7. Through all the haziness of our immediate future, I know without a shadow of a doubt, what I want our lives to reflect. I want a loving family, one that is close and relies on each other for whatever we may need. That through the good and the bad, we will be there for one another. I want my children to feel this for a certainty. I want an eternal family, one that is strong and centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I want to be HAPPY. I am very certain that we will, of that I do not doubt.
8. Last, but not least, I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to start to get to know everyone out in the blogging world. I have learned so much from you and your lives already! Your love, your desire to see my situation come out right, your prayers...to love, laugh, and cry with you has been amazing! I am so amazed at the diversity of personalities that have come together into this community and support one another. You all are so wonderful and I feel like I have found this little blogging family. Is that crazy? Forgive me if it is. But seriously, I feel like I am about to embark on this adventure and I have no idea where I am going to go, but I am comforted in the fact, that all these people I have met, I can take them with me. And I can post things like this particular post and you will understand. And if you don't you will show me love nonetheless. So thank you, to all of you, I am grateful for the comments, the emails, the support, and most of all the friendship that you have shown me in this short time. Thank you so much!
"You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."
Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"
4 hours ago