Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dear Self,

I just have a teeny little question...


Let's review the last couple of days shall we?

Sister in law's birthday...great time to discover that we should not make ANYTHING when I feel like I am under pressure. Made a two layer strawberry cake. The top layer? Still too warm when I took it out. The cake ended up looking like a volcano, that erupted and then crumbled everywhere. It was grotesque.

Enter 1 hour later. Stephanie decides to make a smoothie with the leftover strawberries. Except apparently doesn't realize that she hasn't attached the blender on correctly, turns it on, and proceeds to break the blender. Thankfully we just needed to replace the piece that turns the blades, but my mother-in-law uses that blender EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. More than once a day. So now she is without blender. That coupled with my strawberry cake and I feel like an idiot. Thank you family for all coming to witness this momentous occasion. What? You're here for your sister's birthday? Oh, yes. Right. Carry on.

Fast Forward to the next morning. Washing Dishes. Take them out to dry. A bowl falls over the other side of the wall. BROKEN. Really? Seriously? Another broken something? So I'm thinking bad things happen in three's right? Okay, maybe that was the last of my breaking things streak.

Don't worry, it's getting better.

I spot my nephew yesterday with an egg in his hand that I am about to cook with. Except I'm washing the pan that I need. But since I didn't want to clean an egg covered nephew I run to take the egg from him. I take it and proceed to let it slip through my slippy, soapy, fingers, right onto the floor. YAY me!

Fast forward to 30 minutes later when I am washing ALL the dishes. One of the cups is sitting on a Tupperware top. I pull it forward, the glass goes backwards, over the side of the counter and SHATTERS all over the tile floor.

I swear, I am not touching anything else in this house. NOTHING. I'm the bull in the china shop here. I do not know what is the problem. BUT PLEASE. PLEASE. STOP. You are making me look like a clumsy, clumsy, American girl, who can not successfully complete anything..that is without breaking things first. You and your domestic goddess have NOT found each other. But here you will need her. Please seek her out, as your Mother-in-law's house will not survive unless she is found.

Hoping for some grace...Lovingly,



Rebecca said...

Oh no! I hope things get better soon!

Dari said...

Steph that is too funny/sad. I am so sorry. I hate it when I have times like that. Mine mostly involve forgetfulness leading to mishaps... Chris says I have alzheimers. :( I am sure things will look up soon!! Love you!

Lisa said...

Oh my, I am laughing so hard!! I understand those days; just can't do anything without some catastrophe.

Hang in there girl!

Lisa Q

Bia Mendon├ža said...

If you were living in Bahia and not in Minas Gerais, I would tell you you need a shower with thick salt to wash way the "not so good luck" you've been having!

Hang in there... things get better! At least, I hope so!


LadyFi said...

Oh dear, I know I shouldn't be laughing but...

I've found your domestic goddess and am sending her out to you now!

Danielle said...

So listen, I completely empathize with the "American girl who can't do anything" feeling. Isn't it the most frustrating thing ever? I find myself thinking, A LOT, "Gosh darnit, I had a whole life in the US. I did things just fine. I cleaned my apartment and paid my bills and took care of my stuff with relatively few hiccups." But it's like we have to re-learn everything. My hands feel too big all the time; my brain, too small. Things that used to be simple are now huge ordeals. It's a combination of language, culture, and third world vs. first world.

Hang in there!

PS: Do you see how Portuguese is already affecting your English? "They are without blender"? Tell Sidnei that you wrote that. See if he laughs. :)


Stephanie said...

its like you took the words straight out of my mouth! That's EXACTLY how I felt. I was completely independent. I did any and everything I ever wanted. I didn't break things. I didnt get off at the wrong bus stops. I knew how to buy things at the grocery store. seriously, what the heck. But thank you because now I feel about a 100 times better!!

And yes you are right. My english is terrible. I find that I am correcting myself in my head often! Especially thinking, Oh my gosh..did you REALLY just say that. And then I hear my Dad say, "Who taught you how to spoke?" He is from Argentina, but his grammar was better than anyone I know. And he let's our family know it!

Megan said...

Oh no!! I hope your streak of bad luck is over. (((HUGS)))

*chuckle* sorry. Had to. ;0P

Michele said...

You're too funny! I've had days like that too...just makes you want to crawl back in bed and start the day over!

Hope things get better fast!


Ashley said...

Poor thing! I have days like that sometimes! It'll pass. Just hang in there!

Sam said...

Maybe turn it around and see that you are awesome for baking cakes for people and doing all those dishes, whatever the outcome? :)

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Deep breath...DEEP breath...

Wendi said...

I am laughing *with* you, not at you...I promise.

Mama always said there would be days like these.
Hoping *those* days are gone soon!

Vanessa Rogers said...

Oh my gosh! I totally empathize with you. We were always breaking things when we lived with our host family in Chile. I am sure you will find your inner grace, and hopefully soon. :)
p.s. I am home in Texas with Kyle

Danielle said...

I'm glad you feel better! I feel better too! Not because you're so frustrated and having a hard time but because... I see that, when someone very similar to me is put in a similar situation, they respond in the same way. So I'm not crazy, and neither are you! Woot!

I wasn't trying to say your English is bad! I was trying to say that after listening to Portuguese-influenced English day in and day out, we start accepting the "mistakes" / changes that we hear over and over. Like "I am without my phone" instead of "I don't have my phone." I find myself saying things like "I"m not understanding" instead of "I don't understand" and "He has a congress to go to" instead of a conference. I get a little embarrassed, actually!

I hope you had a good weekend. :)

Oh, also, I completely agree with your art comments!

mrsmouthy said...

I know the feeling. When I was an exchange student in Mexico, on my last day there I broke their glass kitchen table right in two. I couldn't even pay for it because even though I was a "rich American," I was also a poor college student.

Chin up, Stephanie!

Tranquility said...

Oh my goodness - that is a lot of broken items! ;)

Well, the breaking of things can't go on forever... eventually you will run out of things to break and then the clumsy streak will be over.

Just teasing - I'm extraordinarily clumsy myself, so I feel your pain!