Tuesday, February 14, 2012

So I'm back...

I'm not really sure where the time went. It kind of felt like time stopped when I left the US. Only to find out it didn't. And the same with Brazil. I feel like time stopped...by of course it didn't.

I'm really lucky and was able to go home for 6 weeks. Of course it still wasn't enough. I needed more time. And money. However after two and a half years, it was really nice to see my family. To hug them, to hang out, to laugh and have fun. Even the spats were fine..then it really felt like family time. (ha) Of course it was hard on Sidnei and I. I missed him terribly, always wished he could be there, was constantly reminded of things he loved...and he was sad because he was still at home, doing the daily grind thing, wishing he was there..and of course wishing I was with him. The man does not do well alone...let's just say that. And it's nice to be loved and missed as much as he loves and missed me.

Anyway so....things at home were the same. And different. I could not, for the love of all things, remember to STOP putting toilet paper in the trash can. After about a week, I finally quit, but seriously...UGH. Now of course, I am having the opposite problem. Which is not a good one to have. I can't remember to quit throwing the toilet paper in the toilet. I can't win.

My English was struggling. As in I wasn't allowed to mix Portuguese/English anymore like I did with just about everyone in Brazil between my co-workers and Sidnei. Not only that, but I think all my bi-lingual friends will agree, there are some words in English that just work better to describe something and some words in Portuguese are better suited for other things. I like to use both.

I noticed I had changed a little myself. Suffice it to say without too much detail...I like me now. For the most part. My southern accent came back in an instant...I love that, it just feels right. Anyway.... The things I value are quite different. But...I am still a first world girl. I miss my dishwasher, my dryer, my hot water heaters. And Costco. And great return policies.

The day I was coming home (to Brazil) I was surprised to find how sad I was. I woke up sad, which is really unusual for me. It was much harder leaving my family this time. I miss them terribly already. I still can't really think about it. The tears. However, once I arrived in Brazil, I did get the feeling. You know, it's good to be home, feeling. Normal routine feeling. And of course, there is nothing like coming home to the husband. It's nice to have him by my side again. And I kind of missed speaking Portuguese...which is really one of the last things I thought I'd miss.

So I feel like this post is kind of choppy. But I felt like I should do a here and there post. I really hope I can get back before too long. Time really didn't stop when I left...and it has taken it's toll. I just feel like I need to be there to take care of things...but they'll have to get taken care of without me. (I'm not very good at that).

Anyway bright spot of being home? I'm driving!! On the crazy lawless roads. AND I LOVE IT. FREEDOM from the hot, sweaty bus! I will admit I have been nervous as heck, but I'm feeling more relaxed. Also, I'm not driving during peak traffic hours.

5 comments:

Ballerina Girl said...

Ah, the pull between home and home...
I know the feeling!

Great post...you say it is cut up, but I feel like that's ow I think about two places, too...only not this assignment. It never has really quite felt like home, besides my dog that I miss terribly when we are away...

BG

Lin said...

Haha, I remember visiting my grandparents in Mexico & having such a hard time not tossing the TP in the toilet.

Yay for driving!

Lisa n Javi said...

I am so grateful we dont have to worry about the toilet paper issues here.
I know how you feel, my last trip to the states which was for ten weeks took its toll on me also. It was hard to get back in the groove of things again.

American in Norway said...

2.5 years since you were last home? Oh girl... you are one tough cookie.. I usually start crying the last 3 days before I have to head back to Norway.. because I REALLY don't want to get on the plane.. You are AMAZING. :-)

American in Norway said...

not sure my comment went through.. hmmm... glad you enjoyed your time home. You are amazing.. seriously, I wouldn't be able to make it 2.5 years...