Wednesday, February 11, 2009

In the Dark

Today I feel overwhelmed. I feel like the entire situation has consumed me, swallowed me whole, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Here is the low down:

Mr S finally called me! Yay! I was SO glad to hear his voice! I always feel so much better after talking to him. And I am sure I will feel better after talking to him later on as well.

More lowdown:

I finally talked to the attorney (not the @$$hat I wasn't fond of, but our immigration attorney, who for the most part is great). She told me that she has been trying to get Mr S a court date for bond. The problem is they want to deport him without Mr S going to court. So our attorney is trying to fight that. To make matters worse, she wants to tread carefully because they can put a ten year bar on Mr S that will not allow him to apply for papers much less enter the country until that ten year bar is up. Now there are two types of 10 year bars. One of which will allow me to appeal it and have it waived (possibly--there are no definites in the immigration world), and another that there is no appeal whatsoever on. SO...I just don't know. I don't know what to think. I'm scared to move to Brasil (even though I know I can do it, it's just scary), I'm scared that because we owe the lawyer SO much money that it won't be possible for me to stay in Brasil with Mr S and that would devastate me. I'm just plain scared because I just don't know. I don't know what's going to happen and I am worried that I won't be able to fix it. Did you all know that I am a fixer? And when there is nothing I can do...well quite frankly it freaks me out. It paralyzes me. And that is where I feel I am. I feel like I am paralyzed by the fear of it all. I keep telling myself that it is going to be okay because whatever happens we will work through it...it just doesn't ever feel like it's going to be okay. And I am just SO tired. I just really need a little bit of a reprieve from all the heartache and all the worry. I just want to know that it's going to be okay...and there is no way to know that.

So for now I wait(haha what a surprise!). The lawyer should have more news before the end of the week.

29 comments:

Kerri said...

Aargh!! I feel your pain! I'm so sorry that this is dragging on for so long and you keep getting your hopes up just to be let down again. I will pray for you . keep your chin up and go read my favorite scripture Philippians 4:13(hugs)

Young Momma said...

Oh.. that sucks. (((hugs))) I'm a fixer too, so I know how you feel. I hope you get some good answers soon. I can't even imagine moving to Brazil.. Not because it sounds awful or anything, just because I know nothing about it. What is the problem with deporting him with out court? Is court possibly going to allow him to stay in the US??

I think these questions sound kinda... um,.. blunt? You don't have to answer and I don't mean for them to sound that way. I'm just genuinely interested and know nothing about it. I have friends and family that are illegal too... but they haven't been caught.. so it's a scary idea to me too.

Betty said...

Awww, so sorry you are feeling so helpless. I am just like you, a fixer, and can totally understand what you are talking about!
I pray that everything will turn out ok and hope that you get your spirit back. You are a positive girl and even if you have to move to Brasil, you can do it! You are strong!
Anything is worth keeping the love of your life!

angi_b72 said...

I just can not even imagine what you are going thru!! You are in my thoughts everyday though!! Keep your head up, be positive!! It will all work out in the end!

countrygirl3031 said...

That totally sucks..I keep hoping that I will see some good news on one of your posts...I soooo want that for you. I'll be praying girlfriend...keep the faith!

Hugz,
Michele

Nani said...

I can imagine how hard it must be for both of you. But I don't understand one thing, is he in Brazil right now or still in the US? So they caught him and want to deport him right? I am not sure but he does have the right to go to court here and explain his situation. You guys should definetly try, and don't give up. And if things don't go as planned, give it a try to go to Brasil for some time, just to try, we never know until we are "living" in the situation. You might like it, and if you don't at least in the end you will know you gave your best.

I wish you guys lots of luck, patience and lots of love. I do believe everything is going to be ok!

:)

April said...

I don't know your story, but I'm sending prayers your way from Mississippi.

tara @ kidz said...

Girl you are a rock. I think most women would throw their hands up in the air and curl up in the fetal position until Mr S came to rescue her. But you - you keep going and inspiring me along the way. You're my hero! I wish there were something I could do to help, but until I become in charge of international immigration, I'm no good to you other than to tell you that I admire you and await your happy reunion with Mr S!

Hugs and prayers your way.... =)

Yaya said...

(((Hugs)))
I can't imagine. My heart goes out to you.

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

You are in my prayer journal( mr. S too) I feel for you!!

Lisa said...

You are a fighter, and you can live in Brasil and should. He is your husband, and you can do it for both of you. You never know in a marriage what you may face, but you promised to face it together.
Praying for a speedy outcome.

Lisa Q

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You've been waiting so long, and I know it stinks to just keep waiting. I really hope you get some encouraging news soon!

Tranquility said...

It WILL be ok. It WILL work out. It may take longer than you want and it might involve some scary experiences, but it WILL definitely work out.

I'm so sorry that everything is taking so long and is proving to be so costly. How beyond frustrating! I'm sure there aren't even words to describe it.

But it WILL all work out!! And maybe there will even be extra sunlight at the end of this long tunnel.

Tranquility said...

Hang in there - you are handling this so well!

Dari said...

I am so sorry. I wish there were something I could say or do to make you feel better. Hang in there. You know heavenly father is watching over you two.

I love you! Call me anytime!

angi_b72 said...

tag you are it!

Sam said...

I'm so sorry, S. I hope something works out soon. Thinking of you.

Bia said...

Sorry, I've been a bad friend and haven't been here in a while! i just been a little busy! =/

hugs!

KLC said...

I will continue to pray for you!! I hope he can come back to America but if not you willbe just fine in Brasil if it comes to that. As long as you are together you will be fabulous!!

Krystyn said...

I hope the attorney comes back with good news for you.

Keep praying and keep your faith.

Anonymous said...

I know, it would be scary to live in a new country. But you can do it! You will have your husband and his family and family is important in Brasil. They will help you. Sure English is not spoken everywhere but there is always someone in a cafe or store than can or will find someone or can. AND you will learn Portuguese quickly. Your mother moved from Argentina to the US did she not? She can help you perhaps.
It will be wonderful adventure. You sound like a go-ahead gal, so you will get a job, find your way.
Don't know if you might settle in a smaller town or larger. Larger might be better for opportunities and for a less isolated feeling as there might be more English-speaking people there.

Emily said...

The whole case is so mind boggling . . . how they can keep someone just sitting in jail for so long! It's crazy!

Lots of prayers being sent on your behalf.

But at the end of the day, if it means a move to Brasil . . . well, it's not so bad! ;)

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Oh pooh bear... gosh as a fixer I so wish I could fix this for you.

I'm praying... that's the best i can do.

Vanessa Rogers said...

OH MY GOSH!!! SOOOOOO Frustrating! I am mad for you! We had some bad news the other day which sent me into a frenzie- but just know that everything will work out in the end. It might not be exactly what you are imagining would be perfect right now, but things will get better, it might just take time... think happy thoughts :) (that is what I am trying to do anyways)

AndreaLeigh said...

i am so sorry. this is just one blow after another - i just pray something would go right for you! i can't imagine the stress you must be under.

god has a plan... and who knows, maybe that plan is brazil. if it is, there is something wonderful there for you. god will provide.

i will pray for you both!

mrsmouthy said...

I just want to shake those immigration people and say "DO YOU KNOW WHO THE DE MIRANDAS ARE??!!" This whole thing will never make sense to me, and I'm sure it still doesn't make sense to you either. Argh!!

~*amber*~ said...

I am hoping that you will get the answers that both of you need sooner or later. I would have hoped that this year would have been better and things would just go smoothly for you guys. I continue to pray for you guys, even if it isn't that he can come home, but that both of you will have the strength to hold on.

I'm around if you need me. :)

The Pink Owl said...

I hate that this is dragging out so much for you, but your strength amazes me! You amaze me and I pray for only wonderful things for you and Mr. S!

Elaine A. said...

I'm praying for you and Mr. S! I know it's hard when you are in limbo like this and you're not sure how it's all going to work out. I pray for your piece of mind and for things to work out soon and well. Hugs...

Elaine